badbadbad

i had a bad week.

a very bad week.

i’m not getting enough sleep.

this is the first time i’m online this week.

i bought my “new” mayday concert album on monday, and i haven’t got the time to watch it YET.

my legs are hurting.

i’m sick of wearing officewear.

at least i’m working hard to show people i deserve the meagre money they’re paying me.

and i was happy thinking about it.

but.

reality is harsh.

do people care whether you work hard enough for what they are paying me?

NO! they don’t!

the first day i was there, i worked incredibly hard. (i mean, i worked hard right from the first day)

then, on the second day, they taught me MORE things which were not included in my job scope.

fine. never mind. it’s good to learn more stuff.

third day, my in charge and another nice lady were gossiping during lunch. and they were having lunch with me.

they told me a witch in the company was planning to let me take over a permament staff’s job.

*takes a deep breath*

if they are paying me reasonably, i won’t mind.

they are paying me 5 bucks an hour.

which is better than nothing.

BUT is way too little if they’re gonna make me take over a perm staff’s job!

i’d happily do it if they pay me reasonably.

never mind, i thought, it’s only for 2 months.

then.

TODAY.

i was so pissed i couldn’t talk near the end of the day.

if you are not interested in my whinings, you can skip the rest.

while i was doing the 3-times-a-day circulation, i entered my boss’ office with a mountain of documents he was supposed to sign.

and he innocently asked me, “are you able to work overtime?”

*note: the company does not pay their permament staff a single cent for overtime, though i don’t know if they’ll pay me*

and i answered good-naturedly, “sure.”

then he asked a similar question again (can’t remember so much cos i’m very deprived of sleep so i can’t absorb everything he was trying to tell me)

and i answered, “yes, i can work overtime if i can make it, cos some days i can’t.”

(i really can’t! cos i’m gonna start on tuition and i still have driving lessons)

and i caught his split-second display of disatisfaction with me.

he went on to hint that:

1) i escape exactly at 5.30pm everyday

2) i don’t take the initiative to help

3) i gotta interact more with the office people, build rapports, which may be helpful if i wanna work part time or temp jobs in the company in future.

4) i’m mixing with the wrong people

5) i shouldn’t be so afraid to mix with people of higher rank cos therez no protocols in the company (seeing my can’t-help-it-but-skeptical-look, he added that there will more or less be some protocol cos we’re all asians)

at least, that’s what i think he’s trying to tell me after some analysis.

and.

after using my terrific inference and comprehension skills,

i figured out that someone stabbed me in the back.

how did i know?

easy.

everyday when i leave the office, i don’t pass by his room AND more importantly, he leaves earlier than me.

so some witch in the office must have sabotaged me lah!

in response to what he said,

i did some self-reflection,

and realised i don’t think i’m in the wrong at all.

1) i leave at 5.30pm sharp cos my in charge tells me to. since the company-provided transport leaves at 5.35pm SHARP. besides, i always make sure i finish my work before leaving, by hook or by crook.

2) how much can i help with?! for the whole week i’ve been learning new things, asking questions about how their system work and absorbing everything they tell me! it’s only been 1 week! how much initiative can i take, huh?!

3) i gotta do circulations 3 times a day. do filing for the rest of the day. learn new things. figure out what i’ve learnt. do i look like i got time to interact?! besides, the people in my office are always running around the place, busy with their jobs. interact? what interact?! would he rather i stalk people out and yak with them or do more work?!

and i don’t intend to work for them ever again, esp since they are moving to changi in october. unless they buy me a car.

4) well, i’m mixing with my in charge and another lady.

if i don’t talk to my in charge, how the heck am i going to do my work?!

anyway, the rest of the nice people are always out, and the important people don’t have time to talk to me. leaving the witches who are obviously wicked.

5) don’t joke. what does he know about the multiple ranks below him when he’s always not around and when he’s in, he’s comfortably seated in his office, insulated from all the evil things that happen. no protocols. stop kidding.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

his “advice”, as he calls it, made me so pissed i refused to talk for the rest of the afternoon.

what the heck, i do more work and stay away from too much talk, i get into trouble too.

i curse the person who sabotaged me. may she (i’m very sure it’s 1 of the 2 witches) get struck by lightning, get stung by bees, step on an anthill, get crippled in a car crash!

office politics.

there’s so much to learn.

but i don’t give a damn.

i’m not in the wrong.

i’m not going to change.