Monthly Archive

it’s been a long time since i’ve had a headache of this scale.

it’s the kind of headache i used to have when i knew i couldn’t finish studying for the exams, or when i had more than two deadlines to meet in a single week.

i can’t tell whether it’s the lack of sleep, or the subconscious fyp stress. gonna finish up the draft by today, send it for the tutor and get a good sleep. before we tackle the post-draft work. before the deadline next week.

wish i had some panadols in my bag. the canteen’s too far away. bah.

wish i am at home working on this draft. at least i’ll be more comfortable in my own room. but hell, my aussie bro didn’t finish up the harddisk rescue operation before he went back cos he was too busy.

bah. i feel like a grumpy old hag.

it’s nice to have a little warmth on me in the freezing hss library.

it’s nice to see a bright blue sky in between the blinds that block out evidence of the external weather.

sometimes, it’s nice to have some sunshine around.

post-edit: some callous guy at the opposite terminal with access to control of the blinds has just blocked out all the sunlight. ugh.

once in a while when i am in school with fun people, i don’t mind being stuck in the grey buildings for an entire day.

that is the chao ah lian who has dyed and highlighted hair. now she has to smile very often or behave like herself (crazily) so that she doesn’t look like a chao ah lian. she really looks like one when she looks serious. or when she unglam-ly props up her very long legs on their chair the way kopitiam uncles drink their coffee.

hanging out with the chao ah lian for academic purposes is fun cos i can introduce the funky business seminar rooms to her. she was fascinated with the furniture and the whiteboards and the projectors and the computers in every seminar room and the network printing in nbs and dunno what else.

besides, we eat a lot when studying. when i study with gu-niang people, they don’t go for tea breaks. they don’t get hungry. when i study with the weiwei, she goes for good tea breaks. a good tea break is defined by the amount of food eaten. like how we had six curry/sardine puffs, two sets of sandwiches from the vending machine, 3 packets of tidbits, a huge cup of tea and apple-orange juice.

and it gets even better when she allows me to blast mayday songs in the seminar rooms. she made me play lian-ai-ing over and over again. so we listened to it more than 25 times. even a loyal mayday fan like me got a bit tired of the song, but she didn’t. she loves mayday too! wahahahahah.

oh yeah, i spoilt the windows in seminar room 8. i swear i’m not completely responsible for the damage. i was just trying to open the darned windows trying to get some singapore-styled warmth in the freezing seminar room, when part of the frame just came loose. i hope the frame doesn’t come off, really.

i swear if i have study kakis like the weiwei and a nice seminar room 8 all to ourselves i’ll be able to get a lot more done.

now that i don’t have one in hss library, i’m wasting my time doing all sorts of things again.

oh yes, a marketing classmate who shares the same fyp tutor as me has just verified something: my group is indeed the slowest.

this is a nice poem which was quoted in the book, “The Outsiders”. if not for the elective i’m taking this semester, i wouldn’t even have come across this book and this poem.

and this is one hell of a good book! everyone should read it, then the world will be a beautiful place.

yeah right, who am i kidding.

can’t you?

if you can’t smell doom around the corner (march 10th), you probably are not involved in the damn final year project.

if you can smell it, thanks for understanding how i feel. the confusion, desperation, panic and hate to all those who/which are obstructing our progress. but you shouldn’t be here like me. you should be working on the damn thing.

i’m hiding in the hills of jurong until march 10th passes.

i have stories of interviews we did, but i’ll tell them, maybe as part of the post-deadline-celebratory-post or something.

the countdown thingy is so therapeutic in a way. it’s gonna be over soon. i just have to slog for a few more days.

i sure hope i graduate on time….

i can’t help posting the fourth entry today if i have friends with weird fingers.

she gotta be careful when keying in numbers when she starts work.

seriously.

this is a future accountant we’re talking about here.

having a dead computer and being able to log on to the internet have their advantages too.

i now realise how much everyone misses the msn-me. lol. yeah i know that sounds pretty narcissistic.

but it’s true. there’s people bugging me to appear online. i bet they love me. wahahahaha. weiwei, for one, “jumps up and down excitedly” when she sees me online. then i get conversation windows blinking a blinding shade of orange when i get online.

the funny thing is, previously when i was online everyday, no one gave a damn (more or less).

now i really know, everyone likes the msn-me better than me myself.

red’s the colour of desperation.

the second assignment for my ge is in.

due 17th march, which isn’t too bad yet.

but she wants an essay on either harry potter, the secret garden, the outsiders or charlotte’s web.

and the questions so sound extremely english-literaturely.

i do like e. lit., but i’m kinda out of touch and besides, three years in a business school would kill all romantic literaturely stuff in anyone’s head.

every few years when it’s time for the country to display the system of democracy, everyone gets excited.

months before the big event, even the small-fry ministers and grassroot leaders would appear from hibernation and socialise with the heartlanders. they’ll grow trees, cook porridge for the masses, give out goody bags and new year angpaos to the elderly, solve the everyday problems of the helpless, etc. etc.

THEN THE BUDGET COMES IN. and this gets the biggest attention.

cos that always means there’ll be a cyclical budget surplus, and the government will always feel the urge to reward singaporeans and share the fruits of labour with everyone. isn’t it wonderful that our budget surplus has such a constant pattern, it materializes in 2001, 2003 and 2006, as pointed out by our helpful and observant prime minister?

what’s more, the whole nation will feel extra good cos the government is doing more to help the low income families and the older workers, instead of allowing bus companies to increase bus fares (cos they don’t make enough profit, as the company said) or gst. all countrymen will feel that yes, we are progressing together and no one is left behind! majulah singapura!!

who said the government is giving out money cos of the elections? mr prime minister said no leh! he said if they wanted to do so they could easily hand out angpaos.

but then again, wouldn’t that cause an increase in money supply, leading to too much money chasing too few goods and ultimately, INFLATION?

ah, besides, the budget surplus is already pretty entertaining to foreigners. i’m sure an election angpao would cause many foreigners to fall off their chairs from too much laughing.

maybe, maybe.

but isn’t it great we all get cash once every few years?

to me it doesn’t make a difference whether the government gives out money or not. i mean, who else can i vote for? there’s not many choices, eh? besides, i wouldn’t want to jeopardize the stability within singapore, which is allowing me to live peacefully (albeit aimlessly) and someday i will join the workforce, reaping in whatever money i have left after tax and cpf, and follow the singaporean dream.

ah, and who’s going to make the singaporean dream come true?

we all know, don’t we?

the school’s crazy.

it’s really the term break now, isn’t it? at least that’s what people have been telling me. and i thought the fal wouldn’t be more than half-filled today. man, i’m totally wrong. the damn place is PACKED. no free terminals at all. and everyone’s armed with some kind of textbook or custom text or stuff.

so now, i’m in hss freezing again. without a jacket too. cos i thought the warmer fal would be empty.

wonder where i should go for the fyp discussion.

IT’S REALLY THE TERM BREAK NOW, ISN’T IT?

i’ve completed my individual assignment for the ge course! worth 40%!

isn’t this a super cute illustration?

hehe one down is better than none down.

it’s so bloody cold in here my fingers are freezing and i can’t sms.

i need lunch.

i still have lots more work to finish.

it’s valentine’s day.

i’m such a pathetic soul.

i bought a new fragrance yesterday, since there was a discount at the cheap jec store and i’m running out of the current one.

i underestimated the power of this fragrance.

now i’m suffocating in my own smell.
oh yes, i had a very morbid dream two nights ago.

i dreamt that my tuition kid’s dad had an accident in which he fell and injured his head. then he passed away.

the very next day during class, the kid told me his dad’s going to saudi arabia for work. think he’s a technician or supervisor or something like that. the kind that involves machinery and engineering.

i seriously hope my dream doesn’t come true. cos it’s so morbid it scares me.

it’s approximately one more month to the deadline for fyp.

we’re at….stage 2 of the project.

damn, damn, damn.

we met up with the tutor today. the meetings with him have always been short, but we broke the record today.

we were out of his office in ten minutes.

talk about efficiency, confusion and communication barriers.

the first meal we’ve had together since….kx’s birthday? finally.

it’s not the food, it’s the company.

even though i had to restrain myself and try not to behave like an animal among these gu niangs. i ate demurely. i behaved. i felt full.

and people wonder why i’m becoming more demure nowadays. with the hang-out-gang like that, how can i help it?

i saw a very very close friend of mine sometime ago. she was walking in the opposite direction i was going in. i saw her from a distance away and avoided eye contact. then i continued walking in the direction i was going in. i saw her months ago in a cafe. she was sitting at a table behind mine. i left before i had to.

that was a very very close friend of mine a few years back. the kind of friendship which i thought wouldn’t exist cos we were just so different in the beginning. we did some crazy things together and i did learn to let go of many things. she was probably the only one i could talk to on the phone for five hours straight. i don’t even like talking on the phone.

we drifted away, maybe the few differences among us just couldn’t be avoided. neither of us made any effort to keep the friendship going, cos we were both similar in the sense that we would never be the ones who would strike up conversations with long-lost friends or to look up each other.

once in a while i still log on to friendster (cos friendster never realyl deletes any account) to see if she’s getting on fine. she is, and i think i miss this friend. it disturbs me like crazy but i think things are going to stay this way. she wouldn’t be forgotten, but she wouldn’t be part of life anymore. it’s dumb the way things have turned out, but i guess that’s how life is, sometimes.

if i ever stop contacting you, it doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten you.

it’s just the way i am.

yes, a happy chinese new year to all!

i’m still internet-less and computer-less, with less frequent visits to the campus.