Monthly Archive

i thought the computer i’ve always been using was getting a little slow - so i’m using my bro’s computer instead.

it is PAINFULLY slow.

but it’s pretty peaceful up here in his room and the weather’s not too hot, thankfully. it’s like a furnace up here when the weather’s hot.

the mega disadvantage is, i have to cover everything i touch with a layer of tissue paper first. his room is that dusty, so incredible that i started itching when i rested my forearms on the wrist pad.

still, it’s more comfortable to work at home. i’m not crazy about lugging those forms all the way to school to do data entry.

i haven’t told my parents about my resignation and that i’m working from home now. guess they’ll figure that out soon.

it’s amazing how much i can hide from them sometimes - i reached home near midnight last night, and i told them i went out for supper with my colleagues after overtime. cos i didn’t want them to know i didn’t feel like going home yet. more importantly, i didn’t want them to know why i didn’t feel like going home yet.

i’m babbling on and on - must be the effects of sleeping at 3am in the morning and waking up at 8am.

over the past few days everything has turned upside down.

i’m freaking stressed and really, really tired from thinking over the bloody problems that just popped up continuosly.

i’m out of breath, being hit multiple times.

bloody hell, i wish things would go on smoothly for once.

the monitor has gone dead, and i don’t know why. can’t blog, can’t do anything.

my life is a tragedy.

as if i didn’t had enough issues on hand, i was made to make a difficult decision yesterday in an hour’s time.

everything after the final decision became one big drama.

was given some mental preparations on thursday morning, another one after lunch yesterday. in the end, i decided it wasn’t worth it - i wouldn’t be happy.

so at 5.30pm yesterday, i told my admin head i’m resigning.

even though my boss had probably managed to convince the management to let me stay on. i didn’t want to, because i didn’t like the lack of security. and i don’t like the way the new management is doing things.

with a little of pride and dignity thrown in, it wasn’t so hard to leave.

what made it hard was that i had indeed spent a happy six months in the office, made too many new friends whom i didn’t want to leave, yet. i’ve been too happy these six months.

my neighbour-in-black and i stubbornly refused to talk to each other in the last half an hour, cos we were both on the verge of tearing. and it isn’t so glamourous to start bawling in the office.

i told my admin head and neighbour-in-black to keep my resignation a secret, till everyone else finds me missing on monday. i was afraid i’ll start weeping in the office.

while on the company transport to the bus interchange i avoided sitting next to my admin head, so i wouldn’t have to talk to her and start crying. but when she got off she was next to me and told me she and the neighbour-in-black will miss me a lot and blah blah blah. i told her to stop before i started bawling, and she gave me a look of disbelief. so she continued, and i started tearing. that really frightened her a little so i chased her away.

right after that, my neighbour-in-black and another colleague i messaged about me leaving started messaging me about stuff. and i was tearing and blowing my nose all the way home on the bus. it was all so unglam.

i had to take an hour’s walk round and round the estate, cos i don’t want my family to know about my resignation yet. my dad wasn’t exactly crazy about me returning to this company to work, and this would give him a chance to nag. along the way the colleague called me to check on me and made me talk about the drama - which made me cry again. the bloody idiot teased me for being silly enough to cry.

i still have a colleague’s son’s wedding dinner next week, and the company bbq next next week. my admin head wants to treat me to dinner - just us and the neighbour-in-black. i don’t know if i should go.

i haven’t got over the emotions yet. i wished my departure wasn’t so damn dramatic.

too many things happening too fast.

i need time to stop and think. think rationally. i think for this time, it’s better to follow my head and not my heart.

yeah, i am thankful for the email blogging function.

thought there’s no function to justify the text format. ok, i should stop complaining so much, this is just a temporary thing, i hope.

just to update everyone, i’ve been accepted into australian national university.

to all those who still love me, thanks for the well wishes and the joy you had.

the full enrolment package arrived in the mailbox today, warmed by the afternoon sun.

it look deceiving enough, cos i was totally horrified to find all these in the folder. have i ever mentioned i totally hate filling up forms and stuff like that? it’s a wonder how i’ve survived in the admin position for the past few months. now i have to take a deep breath and tackle these one by one. and these are the stuff i have to feed them with before i even get the proper admission document, before i can apply for the student visa, etc. etc.

if everything goes on smoothly, i’d be out of here by mid february. before chinese new year. in less than three months. it was weird telling friends and colleagues that i’ve been admitted (tentatively, anyway). there was a sea of messages asking me when i’ll be flying and that they’re already missing me. the feeling’s mutual.

should i get my ass there next year, there’ll be lots of stuff i’ll be missing out on. my already-limited social circle here, the comfort of living at home with all needs taken care of, a career start, working experience, stable income, and yeah, some other stuff i won’t be mentioning here.

i’ll be telling my nice admin head about this on monday, the very first day she’ll be back from maternity leave. the neighbour-in-black and another colleague already know. the neighbour-in-black is genuinely happy for me and hopes that i’ll have a blast over there. the other colleague whom i’m on good terms with, well, he congratulated me with some unusual reactions i have yet to figure out. it’s heartening to know that people out there are really happy for me that i’m getting to do what i want to.

i’m trying to stay cool and make mental preparations for possible screw-ups. well, this definitely isn’t the first time i’ve had almost taken such paths and was stopped at the last minute. still, i hope this plan works out.

it’s time for me to grow up in this big, bad world, and what is a better way than catapulting myself towards a strange land all alone?

it’s a scary thought.

post-edit: i finally figured out what’s wrong. the stupid problem i had with blogger can be overcome by using firefox.

blogger is pissing the hell out of me.

for the past week, i’ve been unable to blog because i was dumb enough to switch to beta blogger. or blogger beta. whatever, just make sure you don’t make the same mistake as me.

i can’t get any blogger help cos i can’t seem to find an email address i can send an SOS email to. all they have is a google group where i can’t post messages if i’m not a member, and i certainly do not want to become a member.

unable to post entries, no help given.

heck, the perfect impression i’ve had of blogger (built over the past few years) has been totally destroyed in a week.

*curses and swears

about every eight working days, i’ll be on receptionist duty while the real receptionist has her lunch.once upon a time, i was terrified of this. on countless occasions, the lines got cut off while i was transferring calls - cos it’s a different button from my usual phone.

but now, i can handle it fine and it’s pretty fun sitting there doing nothing but answer calls and talk to people i know walking through the entrance.

the regular receptionist was once shocked to find the receptionist counter crowded with several colleagues from various departments when she came back from her lunch. but they were just there to chat with me and it’s because of people like them i don’t get bored sitting there like the stone lions at the entrance.

i always thought the receptionist was a little weird, the way she did things and the things she said. during my latest receptionist stint, i confirmed my suspicions.

now, why would anyone make a photocopy of a calculator?

and the silly sales manager from my department thought i did that.

i find myself incredibly lucky that my internet connection has miraculously revived itself.for those in the dark, the orange light on the modem indicating pc activity stopped blinking over the weekend. each time i tried to restart the computer and switched the modem on, i was devastated to find the orange light callously and stubbornly bright.

i succumbed to checking my inbox on my phone, without any idea how they’re gonna charge me for the usage.

i gave a last try just now, and thank goodness it snapped out of its bad temper.

phew, i am back.

p.s. i am generally fine, both emotionally and physically. things happen all the time, i just need to be alone sometimes. but don’t worry.