drama mama

as if i didn’t had enough issues on hand, i was made to make a difficult decision yesterday in an hour’s time.

everything after the final decision became one big drama.

was given some mental preparations on thursday morning, another one after lunch yesterday. in the end, i decided it wasn’t worth it - i wouldn’t be happy.

so at 5.30pm yesterday, i told my admin head i’m resigning.

even though my boss had probably managed to convince the management to let me stay on. i didn’t want to, because i didn’t like the lack of security. and i don’t like the way the new management is doing things.

with a little of pride and dignity thrown in, it wasn’t so hard to leave.

what made it hard was that i had indeed spent a happy six months in the office, made too many new friends whom i didn’t want to leave, yet. i’ve been too happy these six months.

my neighbour-in-black and i stubbornly refused to talk to each other in the last half an hour, cos we were both on the verge of tearing. and it isn’t so glamourous to start bawling in the office.

i told my admin head and neighbour-in-black to keep my resignation a secret, till everyone else finds me missing on monday. i was afraid i’ll start weeping in the office.

while on the company transport to the bus interchange i avoided sitting next to my admin head, so i wouldn’t have to talk to her and start crying. but when she got off she was next to me and told me she and the neighbour-in-black will miss me a lot and blah blah blah. i told her to stop before i started bawling, and she gave me a look of disbelief. so she continued, and i started tearing. that really frightened her a little so i chased her away.

right after that, my neighbour-in-black and another colleague i messaged about me leaving started messaging me about stuff. and i was tearing and blowing my nose all the way home on the bus. it was all so unglam.

i had to take an hour’s walk round and round the estate, cos i don’t want my family to know about my resignation yet. my dad wasn’t exactly crazy about me returning to this company to work, and this would give him a chance to nag. along the way the colleague called me to check on me and made me talk about the drama - which made me cry again. the bloody idiot teased me for being silly enough to cry.

i still have a colleague’s son’s wedding dinner next week, and the company bbq next next week. my admin head wants to treat me to dinner - just us and the neighbour-in-black. i don’t know if i should go.

i haven’t got over the emotions yet. i wished my departure wasn’t so damn dramatic.