something lacking

very often i feel like hitting myself really hard on the head. i seem to have zero self-discipline. i thought i would learn my lesson from last semester, when i had to forgo sleep for a few consecutive nights because i didn’t start work earlier, or because i spent considerable amounts of time watching dramas, precious time which could have been better spent working on assignments or studying for exams.

i know that it’s hard for me to concentrate and work if i don’t get enough entertainment but i suspect that’s just an excuse for my poor time management and laziness. to be exact, its not really laziness. i did a lot more work last semester than my undergrad days. and i worked more this semester than the last. i think it’s just that i haven’t put in maximum effort but i’ve passed with okay grades and nothing has screwed up. hence, i am still assuming that i can get things done at the last minute. it’s frightening how i can be so indifferent to deadlines and exams.

i must say it’s a really bad habit and it’s getting worse. oh well, they say problem identification is the first step to the solution eh?

guess i have some serious self-reflections to do during the summer holidays.