Category Archive

Warning: You know it’s gonna be a long and whiny and emotional post when I start talking about leaving Australia.

It’s been one and a half years.

When I first came over, I came with a lot of anticipation and worry. Anticipation because I would get to spend 1.5 years alone, living by myself and having a lot of freedom. I knew that I would enjoy the stay here because I was going to do something I had chosen to do, instead of being forced into the workforce like everyone else. Besides, I’ve always wanted to study overseas. But I was also worried because I only had a week to look for suitable accomodation and I didn’t know a single soul over here. It was freaking scary.

I had a hard time convincing myself this place would be all right. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when the plane landed at the Canberra “International” Airport because for as far as I could see, the whole place was in a shade of ugly brown. I had another scare because the motel I was booked at for the first week was located at the border of Canberra’s civilization and it was surrounded by bushes and grassland browned by the summer heat. There was a bus passing by the motel every hour and it travelled along a wide, deserted road before weaving through a few quiet little suburbs. But I thought the suburbs were sweet little places and I didn’t mind if I had to live in one.

Then I moved into a suburb near the city. While it wasn’t exactly a sweet little suburb, it appeared to be kind of deserted at first. Recently, I met a classmate on the bus while I was heading home. Just before I alighted, she commented, “This place….(looks around) doesn’t look like there are any buildings nearby”. I chuckled and told her it’s just a 5 minute walk from the main roads. It amused me because I had the exact same thoughts when I first came. When I was checking out the place, I froze when I was along the main road because it was lined by a thick patch of tall trees and the ubiquitous bushes. It was as if I would be living next to a mini forest. For someone who grew up in a concrete forest, this sight was frightening.

I don’t know if I would ever be back in Canberra but I know if I do return, there would be a lot of things that will have changed. In my 1.5 years here, they replaced a huge carpark I used to cut across daily with a shiny block of student living quarters. Over a single weekend when I was away in Sydney attending the brother’s graduation, they bulldozed yet another carpark which was the alternative shortcut I had adopted and I have no idea what they’re building there.

After I leave they’ll be demolishing the outdated bus interchange where the neighbourhood mall is and a new bus interchange would be built. They recently repainted the interchange in the corporate colours of the bus company, bright orange and bright green. The place now looks like some kind of kindergarten bus bay.

The bus interchange and the adjacent carpark of the shopping mall freaked me out the first time I saw them. Yeah, I spent my first two weeks here totally freaked out. These two places looked extremely gloomy and dangerous with all the dirty-looking concrete and vandalism. After a couple of weeks I realised they were one of the bigger bus interchanges and shopping malls in Canberra.

The ulu-ness of this place doesn’t scare me that much anymore, it’s kind of refreshing because there are no skyscrapers over here. Sure, I get bored because the nightlife is pathetic (unless I want to spend all my time clubbing and I really don’t) and there isn’t much to do around here. I spend each semester meditating and reflecting, ha. That’s because each time I leave Singapore I bring along with me a lot of issues which I would straighten out here.

I grew to love Canberra and it’s not a good thing. Like I’ve mentioned before, it’s painful having to give up either Singapore or Canberra when I love both places equally much. I’m bringing a lot back with me this time. I’ve gained experiences and knowledge, there are a lot of new thoughts and my mind is a lot lighter than when i came. If I ever hit a difficult time again, I only have to tell myself I survived 1.5 years of being alone, I went through certain anguishes without anyone by my side and yet managed to graduate (hopefully). Besides, I survived stats ;-). Therefore I can handle anything in my life, no?

Oh well, I guess this marks the end of quiet days and peaceful living. It’s hard to say this, but goodbye for now, my second home. I know I’ll miss you lots.

i love the queen’s holiday over here. it’s a public holiday set on the second monday of june every year.

the reason why i love it is simple: the weekend before that, there’s bound to be some looney who sets off a lot of fireworks in the neighbourhood. it’s probably from the retirement village at the bottom of the hill.

it’s a pretty sight from my room cos i’m situated a little higher on the hill slope and i get a perfect view of the fireworks. if this were in singapore i could be raking in gold for providing the best view of the display.

pretty. i do love fireworks, those glittery little sparkles that light up the dark sky.

yes, i’ve been waking up very early in the mornings. or rather, i go to sleep in the early evenings and wake up in the middle of the night to work on deadlines. it’s easier to focus in the wee hours of the morning than the usual waking hours, probably because i’m distracted by endless msn conversations and emails streaming in throughout the day.

and yes, it’s condensation on the window panes again. the daily sight of condensed windows means that frosted grass may appear soon.

i do wonder if i’ll get to see frosted grass again before i leave canberra.

just the other day my very nice landlady made some taiwanese tea eggs and gave me four of them. four tea eggs, all to myself. i seriously wonder if anyone here heard about cholestrol levels in eggs. i ate them over two days cos food should be best eaten fresh you know? but they were yummy all the same.

then i used up the remaining three eggs in my fridge yesterday cos eggs can’t be kept for too long. it felt less sinful cos i used them in fried rice that would last me for three meals. still, i know i’m eating an average of an egg a day.

i don’t think i wanna consume any more eggs for the time being.

and so i was trying to let in some lovely morning light.

i am in a good morning-mood from 15 hours of sleep. usually i’m so grumpy in the mornings i live like boo radley (in darkness and reclusion) for the rest of the day.

you know what condensation on the windows mean?

it’s damn bloody cold out there in the mornings. yes, winter has crept up on me and for the time being, i’m welcoming it with open arms.

i was beaming with pride that i actually woke up at 8.30am without setting an alarm even though i slept at like, 2am the previous night. so i did my weekly groceries shopping bright and early and came back to log on to msn, wanting to share my sudden joy with everyone.

it was 10.30am singapore time and not many were online. it took me a while to realise that it was vesak day, dang.

i hate public holidays because my msn list becomes deserted and i can’t blabber.

oh well, hope everyone had a good day yesterday.

5 days of non-productivity because:

1) i was in sydney from friday to monday, during which i spent most of the time around the city with the parents and the brother. i only realised how much australia is gonna tug at my heart strings when i return to the sunny island. i totally loved visiting those familiar places in sydney. revisiting those landmarks was like seeing old friends again. i wonder how i’m gonna cope not being in australia.

i was in a little argument with my dad over the issue of my convocation. he REALLY wants to attend it and i am trying all ways and means to wriggle out of it. i can’t think of any reason why i would go through so much trouble just to don the graduation gown. but because my dad wants to attend my convocation so badly, i’m reconsidering my decision.

2) played tour guide for two days when my parents visited canberra. i sucked at the task cos i got lost most of the time (thank god for the GPS device we rented) and i couldn’t even recommend decent food. oh well, i’ve been a geeky student for the past year.

but it was definitely fun and uber cool driving around in the rented car. i’m still trying to get used to only having to move the right foot when controlling the brake and accelerator. there were many occasions i caught myself having a foot on each pedal. i also forgot there’s such a thing called a handbrake and i actually drove from the city to the airport without releasing the handbrake. the route from the city to the airport took about 15 minutes but there were a hell lot of roundabouts and i nearly got into an accident at one. it has been a long time since i entered a roundabout and i forgot i was supposed to stop for vehicles coming from my right. such a terrible driver i was yesterday morning, thank goodness for the amazingly friendly and forgiving drivers in canberra)

right, i now have a 20 page essay to submit in 16 hours’ time and i only started on it 3 hours ago. i can’t even concentrate on the damn essay because there are ten million things going through my mind.

i’m trying, i really am.

hello world.

i’m now in sydney, seated under a buzzing lamp. because the other lamp in my brother’s room blinks too much and i complained about it.

i think a buzzing lamp is still better than a blinking lamp. at least i can do my readings under a buzzing lamp.

it’s time to bury myself in statistics. gotta submit an individual statistics project next friday. there is an urgent need to figure out the central limit theorem, among the ten million other things i cannot comprehend. the only thing i remember about central limit theorem is the president’s glee when she figured it out in those good old days. i should have taken the effort to straighten the damned thing out before i graduated. the thing i hate about statistics is that i have no idea how things are relevant. what the hell is the point about standard deviation and variance anyway?

fortunately the statistics lecturer is painfully slow in his progress. half a semester has gone by and he’s still doing lecture 3. which means we wouldn’t cover more than six lectures this semester. this is very good news for me, because six lectures instead of twelve means the grounds to cover for the final exam is halved. considering i take days to try and understand just one lecture, six lectures are enough to kill.

i guess the sydney weekend will be a good reward for completing the project and figuring out the first three lectures. the brother’s graduating! which means the parents are visiting and the ultimate point is good food galore. these are the main reasons why i have to visit sydney. sure enough, i have to lug my readings and work to sydney so that i survive the next few weeks. but i’ll be feasting on kickass seafood and dim sum and all other forms of yummy food. the parents will also be visiting canberra for a day or two, which will be very bad for me. bringing touristy parents around boring canberra during deadline season isn’t my idea of fun.

goodbye, world. till we meet again.

oh dear, sonific songspot is down. no more looped song on my blog. damn it, i miss that song already.

lorne - a town along the great ocean road

the week-long melbourne trip has ended. am glad to be back among my huge bed and a spacious bathroom and internet and a clothes rack to dry everything and not having to live out of a luggage and canberra air. am cranky from the ending term break and ended melbourne trip and no more laughing and drinking and hanging out and having to go in different directions from the travel mates and having to face school hell from now on.

am too tired to blog about melbourne, gotta catch up on some sleep and work first.

i love the way bookstores here hire people who care about books. i was very impressed by their care when straightening the paper bag before placing the book inside carefully, making sure they didn’t fold the pages by accident. it was as if the cashier was a book-lover and knew exactly how anal readers like me simply cannot stand damaged books. in contrast, the bookstore cashiers in Singapore dump the books in plastic bags without a care in the world.

i must say that unwrapping books in straight and crisp paper bags are so much more delicious than unwrapping one in a crumpled plastic bag way too big for an average paperback.

the beloved printer is running terribly low on toner again. i’ve just bought a new compatible cartridge online and damn it, i hate buying necessities which cost more than $10. this also means i’ve gone through more than 4,000 sheets of paper, excluding those printouts done in school. eight packs of paper! gosh, i’ve been very hardworking indeed.

i’m hoping the parcel comes at a timely moment when someone is at home, otherwise i’d probably have to travel to some kampung post office to pick it up. it totally defeats the purpose of convenient online purchases delivered to the doorstep. kampung post offices are a nightmare cos they’re located in some very-suburban residential areas with just one bus service that arrives hourly. it’s an ultimate horror story.

i have ridiculous food cravings that hit me all the time. it gets worse when i’m in a bad mood or when i have tonnes of deadlines to meet.

whenever i get stressed by deadlines i have to have sweet food. i don’t even like sweet food very much. but i bought half a dozen of krispy kreme doughnuts today cos damn it, i gotta have unhealthy sweet food! guess they’ll last me a couple of meals. they were sinfully satisfying though.

can’t figure out which food attack is worse. i finished most of the cake during the last attack and i’m all by myself this round.

if i die young from a heart attack it’s because school killed me.

hello there, i’m now two hours ahead of Singapore! that’s a good thing cos one hour does make a difference. i hate it when the three hours’ time difference obstructs me from chatting online with people.

and like i know i should be calling my dad just to keep him updated on my life (otherwise he’ll nag and nag and nag) but i can only call him late at night. after a day of research articles my brain is reduced to pulp and i can’t stay awake for late night phone conversations. now that it’s daytime, i’m waiting for my cordless phone battery to charge. -_-||

one thing i hate about daylight savings is that i have to go around setting clocks and watches back by one hour. only ally is nice enough to set herself back by one hour, the rest of the gadgets and stuff have zero initiative, bah.

it might be the desperation to consume asian food when i’m here, but it’s over here that i start exploring korean food. with the number of korean immigrants in australia, it’s not difficult to find authentic korean food everywhere. in fact, it’s easier to find korean food than singaporean food in canberra.

there’s this korean grocery store in the town area that sells quite a lot of duh, korean stuff. so once in a while i’ll drop in to stock up on interesting food. mrs. owner of the korean grocery store is extremely cheery. she bounces around the store to rearrange the store and when she stops near you, she greets you with a big smile and a warm “hello! how are you doing?” it feels kinda familiar there cos i hear the korean customers calling out to mr. owner with a “ahdjoosee!” and mrs. owner sending off customers with a sincere “kamsahamnida!” yeah, i admit i’ve been watching too many korean dramas.

back to korean food, last semester i found little boxes of kimchi and spicy dried shrimps. the spicy dried shrimps were terrific but the kimchi was a little disappointing. so i had a bad impression of kimchi, until the house owner had a little dinner gathering and a korean classmate of their daughter’s turned up with fresh, authentic korean kimchi. oh gosh, i fell in love all over again.

the best thing about the korean grocery store is they sell tonnes of instant korean food. instant meaning anything that can be thrown into the microwave or boiling water and ready to serve in less than ten minutes. they have an endless variety of dumplings with different fillings. there were even different types of vegetarian dumplings, can you imagine?

i made another discovery today:

breaded hotdogs!! did i ever mention that i have a soft spot for hotdogs and sausages? piping hot sausages and hotdogs can make me a very happy person. and these breaded hotdogs made a great snack, even though they were grossly overcooked. i supposed the korean instructions were trying to say “microwave on medium for 2 minutes” but i could only recognise the numeral “2″ so i microwaved it on high instead.

oh well, this is gonna be a staple in my freezer anyway! yummy food at affordable prices!

there’s this carrefour equivalent (minus the fresh food sections) in the town shopping centre which recently introduced the concept of self-checkout counters.

i dropped by two weeks ago to purchase some toiletries and it worked perfectly fine. so i was pretty happy cos it was quick and easy. self-checkout counters were so cool.

today, i went there to get some other stuff. half of the self-checkout counters were down because of dunno-what problems. fortunately it was 11.30am in the morning and most of the population was at work or in school. so i got an empty counter, scanned in the barcode of the pack of paper and waited.

*beep: assistance required. item weight unknown.

so i called out for assistance and the former-cashier had to key in her PIN number and password.

then i placed the pack of paper in the bagging area, which is what they call the metal hooks holding the plastic bags. there must be some kind of lousy sensor in the bagging area which screwed up.

*beep: unidentified item placed in bagging area. please remove item.

so i removed the bloody pack of paper.

*beep: item removed from bagging area. please return item.

so i put the pack of paper back in.

*beep: unidentified item placed in bagging area. please remove item.

and it went on and on till i got fed up. so i called out for assistance again and the lady keyed in the PIN number and password. she was also telling me, “oh, this (pointing) is the bagging area, you just need to place the scanned items in the plastic bags”.

hell, i know that is the bagging area, there are pictures on the screen. do i look stupid? it’s the freaking sensors that went mad!

so there, self-checkout counters may appear cool but damn it, they screw up too much.

i. bloody hell. forgot. today. is. skyfire.

i. missed. the. freaking. fireworks. display.

%^$&^%*&%*$^&%#^#$

i have a craving for the crazy thunderstorms in the sunny island of singapore. yeah so i’ve heard there’s this bout of rain weather thanks to the la nino thingy.

it’s been so freaking hot here i can feel the sun burning my unprotected skin when i’m out there. even though it rained a couple of days ago, it was just a sissy thunderstorm. lots of strong winds and dark skies but the rainfall was pathetic.

so i want those fierce tropical thunderstorm when the rain just beats down heavily and goes on forever. even if it might rain every single day of the week and that pedestrians may get trapped in the damned rain. when i have to take the long way home cos the shortcut will be all muddy and slippery.

it must be because i was working at change alley during the monsoon season last year. i could get from place to place underground and somehow the rain just didn’t get to me.

it’s been a long time since i got drenched.

greetings from down under!

i’m still loving this place lots, with the super fresh air and the great weather. there’s this smell in canberra’s air and it made me happy to be back.

i was a little moody about having to leave everyone in singapore but the moment i landed in australia, the moodiness vanished. that’s despite getting on-and-off sleep (the kind i detest most) on the plane.

when i wasn’t sleeping i was replaying scenes from the 3 month holiday. i have this habit of going back in time, recalling what i was doing 24 hours ago, 2 days ago, a week ago, etc. etc. there’s so many things i did these 3 months i think i really should put up a summary.

am really glad i made it here safely cos things always happen to me. i would have missed the bus from sydney to canberra this morning if i wasn’t so damn kiasu and inquisitive. the bus didn’t stop where it was supposed to but across the road some distance away. thank goodness i walked over to find out if that was my bus or i’d be stranded at sydney airport again.

there was this bout of laughter within me when i opened my eyes sometime towards the end of the bus journey. the grass was simply brown, a definite hint canberra wasn’t far away.

unpacking is like packing, it’s a pain in the ass. but i’m done with it and i’m all ready for the new semester, just that i haven’t gone groceries shopping yet and i need to clear space for this semester’s books and files.

i’m darn tired but i think i’ll survive.

i thought this summer vacation would feel like a long one, being three months long. but it’ll be over in less than two weeks’ time. i’ve been back so long i’m beginning to forget that i have to pack up and leave this place again. it’s not that i’m feeling sad having to return to canberra, it’s just that i’ve enjoyed myself thoroughly and i’m dreading the cold turkey i’ll face when i’m back there.

three months of rushing through the preparations for the brother’s wedding, for the chinese new year celebrations, several different job assignments and meeting up with people. maybe that’s why the three months seem a lot longer than it really was.

it’s a pain being equally happy in both singapore and canberra cos i hate to leave either place. for now, i hate to leave my life here but hey, i’ll be back in july. for good.

these few days i’ve been thinking how cool it would be if i could just stop time when i want to. when i’m out with friends, when i’m just lazing around at home. fast forward the times when i’m unhappy or cranky. pause during the moments when i’m happy and satisfied. skip the parts when i’m pissed.  if only lah.

great, it’s 1am and i’m starving but too lazy to get food from the kitchen and refusing to sleep on an empty stomach. besides, i’ll be in the air this time next week. why waste precious time sleeping?

the best thing about cold weather was that flies vanished from canberra. one of the most accurate signals of the beginning of warm weather is the sight of swarming flies. i’m not kidding when i say swarming flies.

it doesn’t matter whether i shower twice a day, especially before stepping out of the house. it doesn’t matter whether my clothes are fresh from laundry. it doesn’t even matter if i spray copious amounts of anti-insects spray before i go out. i suspect what they say about flies being insects and love smelly places are myths.

they’re everywhere - along the streets, on the buses, at the bus stops, anywhere but near rubbish bins. canberra flies seem to have a general preference for disturbing homo sapiens. they don’t go away when people brush them off, they don’t go away when i growl at them.

they’re invincible and there’s nothing we can do to get rid of them.

the capital down under is going to be overtaken by flies soon.

and the point is to…not to let the pictures be clearly seen

this is what happens when a random person from the school office is asked to help take pictures of the class. can’t complain though, at least she was nice enough to leave her desk and take the picture for us. the reason for the tiny pictures is simple: i hate how my hair looked. it didn’t occur to me to make sure my hair looked nice before taking the pictures.

whinings aside, this is my favourite class of the year! i suspect it’s gonna be my favourite class for the entire course duration, i actually enjoyed attending these classes, can you believe it? there’s 13 nationalities in the picture and that’s one of the reasons why the class discussions were so insightful and interesting. of course, that would have been impossible without the fantastic (i mean it!) lecturer, the angmoh in the front.

needless to say, there’s people i didn’t like, have fun guessing who they are! not that anyone can see the picture clearly. -_-||

it’s raining quite heavily. rainy nights are so conducive for sleeping.

oh yes, by the way, i’m three hours ahead of singapore time again, daylight savings has kicked in.

spring weather here makes me feel like i’m in singapore again. the sweltering heat in the afternoons that makes it necessary to have a fan going at full blast.

especially during sunsets when it turns cooler and the birds come alive again before they roost for the night. for some unknown reasons such evenings just remind me of the times when i was a primary school student. school would have just ended and i’d be walking home from school with my mum and bro, along with some neighbours and kids.

those walks became part of my childhood and to date, when i take walks in the evenings, i’d be reminded of those days. when it was so easy to relax and observe everything around me. when school bags were the heaviest things on earth and nothing else would weigh me down like the school bag did. once my mum helped me with the school bag (i swear she insisted), i was free.

now i can take walks without carrying anything but still feel weighed down. i wish i can go for walks around here in the evening, but there’s nowhere to walk to except along the busy main roads. more walks for me when i return to singapore, i think.

don’t play play

them birds down under swoop and are fierce. i haven’t come across any birds that attack anyone on the streets. in fact, i haven’t even seen any bird along the road where this sign was placed. very scary, worse than muggers lurking in the dark shadows of the trees. i should take a cab to and fro the bus stop and my home.

why would i really care?

it’s a sad situation when i’m actually buying newspapers so that i can line the kitchen bin with them after i’m done reading the news. i consider it some form of functional recycling. after all, it’s better than having a stinky kitchen bin.

the credit for the stinky kitchen bin goes to the housemate and it drives me crazy when the smells waft through two doors to my room. the housemate has no qualms throwing wet or strong-smelling rubbish in the kitchen bin without tying them up in a separate plastic bag, which we have tonnes of.

it is a pleasure to read real newspapers, not off the computer screen. but i’m not exactly interested in australian news, that’s why.

spring is here and with it, flowers and blooms. everywhere! even along the streets where the grass can be very patchy, there are pretty seas of flowers of different colours and varieties. these are just photos i’ve taken when walking home from the bus stop. imagine flower galore on a wider scope. now i know why people in seasonal countries can be so crazy about spring.

this is like a preview to floriade, which i am still trying to fit in my schedule. on a non-weekend, non-deadline-eve, non-rainy day. it’s kind of tricky. i sure hope i make it there before the last day, 14th october.

it’s getting increasingly difficult to make decisions. when i decided to do this course, it was mostly based on impulse and it took me less than a week to make the decision. it was that kind of immature recklessness that urged me to take up the challenge.now that i’m exactly halfway through the course, i have no idea whether to stay in australia or to go back to singapore after graduation.

the thing about singapore is that i was born and bred there, my family and friends are there. and these mean a hell lot of things to me. but at the same time, because they mean so much to me, it’s sometimes less painful to distance myself slightly. but sadly, other than family and friends, shopping and food (the abundance of it 24/7) and the amazing availability of wireless hotspots which are free and faster than what i have now, there are no other reasons to keep me there.

on the other hand, living alone here in australia is so serene sometimes i forget that there’s other people in the world other than myself. it’s good cos i don’t have to consider others, don’t have to make sure i don’t piss them off, etc. etc. the people, the weather, the possibilities of travelling are all great. i’m enjoying my stay here so much that i don’t want it to become history. that one day i’d reminisce about my days in australia and not actually being here.

but i know i wouldn’t want to stay here if i’m to get a job in marketing. australia isn’t exactly a very happening place for marketing things, the action’s in (or moving to) asia i think. and with singapore being such a centre for regional offices and a platform to enter other asian markets, i’m definitely more attracted to the marketing industry over there. of course, it’s hell of a challenge getting a good marketing job in singapore.

tsk.

ironically, if i knew i had to make such a difficult decision someday, i don’t think i would have come here. not even for the fun and experience.

i was out at the shopping mall and decided i should reward myself with some outside-lunch since i’ve been good and hell, it’s the term break after all.so i decided to give the chinese stall at the food court just one more chance.

the last time i bought noodles with soy sauce chicken from them, it was damn bloody salty. since then i haven’t had the guts to try their food again. usually the chinese food over here are a lot more salty and i have no idea why. maybe they’re catering to foreign tastes of something, but then again the angmohs dun eat such salty food also mah.

i thought char siew would be a safe choice, they can’t possibly add too much salt to char siew, right?

the lady at the stall took her time slicing the char siew and arranged them to cover the entire bowl of rice and the few stalks of choy sum. then. she spooned some suspicious thing which looked like minced garlic and ginger while i stared in absolute horror. *alarm sounds. i hate garlic and ginger unless their pungent tastes are “well hidden”. then, she squeezed enough of some strange looking liquid to fill a river. it looked like a mixture of dark soy sauce and something, which i hate too. i don’t like dark soy sauce in my rice.

i sat down miserably at an empty table and tasted the suspicious looking thing. basket, it was damn bloody salty. salty enough to kill the taste of garlic and ginger. and i still have no idea what that strange looking liquid was. the char siew tasted like, pork.

there goes, no more adventures at that chinese stall ever again.

that’s me, blogging live from school. was feeling cranky but i can’t help smiling cos the weather today is terrific. cool but sunny and warm enough to stay outside and get some desperately needed fresh air.

here i am in school, seated on an outdoor bench using the internet connection cos the bloody internet connection at home is down again. i thought it could be that i owe them money, but i just checked and my account is clear. can’t get through to the technical support hotline too. so yeah, i’m really pissed with the internet provider for the time being. i had to use my housemate’s laptop to send an email and i realised she’s completely helpless in technology stuff. waaaaaay worse than i am, ok? and i’m already quite a bad case.

she thought i wouldn’t be able to log on to gmail to send emails cos:

her: telstra next g works differently and doesn’t allow sharing of the connection.
me: oh, but you can still surf the net normally, right?
her: yeah, but they told me i wouldn’t be able to share connections and stuff like email services.

sometimes i think i meet some of the weirdest people in the world.

yeah, weird people like my groupmate who worked in singapore last year. his favouritest favourite food from singapore? fried bee hoon for breakfast.

this is my new favourite veggie - the chinese wombok. i don’t understand why it has such a weird name too, but never mind.

it’s hard trying to find yummy veggies here cos the angmohs eat different veggies from us asians. i’m lucky there’s asian veggies like choy sum and kai lan here. the thing is, i’m not exactly crazy about choy sum and kai lan. i just learnt how to eat eggplants last semester. i don’t eat corn or beetroot or silverbeet or sweet potatoes or pumpkin.

which means that all along, i’ve been living on broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes, mushrooms and carrots. the occasional spinach, cos it’s a bitch to totally get rid of the soil and grit before cooking. after four months of broccoli, broccoli and more broccoli, i swore off my favourite veggie when i was back in sg.

welcome to my list of staple veggies, you wombok.

it’s been very windy the entire day and i guess it’s really cold out there now. i wouldn’t know, as i’m safe within the four walls warmed by a heater and a nice comfy bed while being entertained by ally. but i know i’d hate it if i’m out there walking in the howling wind. and all of a sudden, i’m thinking of the homeless people who might be huddling against the cold, hard walls of strange buildings trying to keep warm.

i wish there’s something i can do.

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NO BUSES 10:00am to 2:00pm FRIDAY 10 AUGUST 2007
ACTION wishes to advise that no buses will be running between 10:00am and 2:00pm on Friday 10 August 2007. This is to enable drivers to attend a planned meeting. Please plan ahead and make other travel arrangements between 10:00am and 2:00pm on Friday 10 August 2007. School services will not be affected.
ACTION apologises for the inconvenience this may cause.

dun have bus how to attend class? oh well, the class isn’t compulsory after all. hmmm……….of course i can try and leave for school a little earlier, but, the class isn’t compulsory mah!

i wouldn’t even have known there’ll be no buses during this period, if not for my quest for blackforest cake.

planned meeting cannot split into a few batches meh? they cannot have better methods of informing people ah? they think everyone’s such a freak like me logging on to their website to check out places?

this bus company very strange one lah.

when i visited sydney i stayed at my bro’s and was wondering how the heck he survived in a bathroom without a heater. very cold one leh. so i considered my place to be quite luxurious after all, with two heater bulbs keeping me warm in the bathroom.

until.

one of the heater bulbs went off with a ‘pop’ over the weekend towards the end of my bathroom activities. which tripped the power supply to the electrical appliances in my room (the fridge! the fridge!).

i thought it would be fine after the landlord reset the power switch.

until.

my room plunged into an unnatural silence, while my housemate was taking a steamy hot shower in the bathroom. the whirring of the heater and the purring of ally dead.

the landlord and family weren’t at home so there i was, pacing up and down in my room, hoping they would not stay out overnight - what would happen to all the food in my fridge?!

thank god the landlord’s daughter came home less than an hour after that and with a few phonecalls to her dad, we managed to reset the power switch.

but until the heater bulbs are fixed (which will happen dunno-when), i have to shower in the freezing cold mornings/evenings. it sucks because it’s freaking cold in the mornings and my morning hair can only be tamed with a shower.

i thought winter would end soon, cos it hasn’t been freezing cold for quite some time.

but it’s like, 1 degree celsius now and bloody hell, it’s almost noon! where’s the sun?! so much for being optimistic about the weather.

i hope my textbooks arrive soon. this is probably one of the rare moments i’ll really be happy to get my hands on the textbooks so that i can start doing some serious work before work piles up.

i talk about the weather, i totally enjoy some classes and i love textbooks. i’m ruined.

the housemate is squeaky clean.

someone who’s even neater than me, imagine my horrors. very scary, but good for me cos i detest living with slobs. i even detest looking at the general habitats of slobs (e.g. the msian who is quite a slob at times).

and she speaks very, very quietly. knocks on the door so quietly i can barely hear it.

and she’s very, very paiseh. she turned down the landlady’s dinner invitation at the last minute cos she officially, she had to study for a quiz but we suspected she was just shy. i gave her a bowl of dessert i cooked and she was very big on the idea of reciprocation.

but i think i can live with the new housemate in peace and harmony.

it’s difficult trying to stay up and stay warm.

i can’t focus when it’s too cold and now that i’ve switched on the heater, it’s so warm and comfy i feel sleepy. to be exact, i’m comfortably seated in the lazy chair, away from the table, right in front of the heater. the other side of the room where my desk is doesn’t get heated air as well, so i had to make some changes to my seating arrangement.

it’s also difficult trying to stay focused yet entertained.

everyone who have worked with me before knows that i have to be kept entertained and have frequent breaks in between periods of work. the problem is, i was so deprived of entertainment last week, i’ve been overcompensating. so now i’m overly entertained and totally unfocused.

yawn, i have a sudden craving for lor mee. the kind with crispy bits of dunno-what on top of super thick gravy. and must have those fragrant, deep fried tau kee or whatever it is.

1. basking in the tropical sun will be a good change, despite it being sweltering hot and humid. i kinda miss real sunshine and skies that turn dark after 6.30pm, not at 5pm.
2. having real conversations where i’m not learning more about the other party before i plunge into a deeper friendship.
3. stuffing my face with lots of unhealthy yet exciting local food.
4. social life will mean more than msn conversations, email essays and hi-and-byes in school.
5. having the luxury of reading newspapers that are already paid for.
6. downloading stuff like crazy and youtubing without caring about stupid quotas.
7. going out in the night and still seeing lots of normal people on the streets.
8. piling things into supermarket trolleys without having to think about how much they are gonna cost.
9. watching silly channel 8 dramas that are oh-so-singapore.
10. doing nothing (except for socialising) for an entire month and not feeling guilty about it.
11. abusing the brother by insulting his level of intelligence.
12. reclaiming my room and making sure it is still safe and sound.

that’s a flask of boiling hot water i’m hugging and man, it feels darn good.i know, i know. switch on the heater right? but i don’t like heater-air!

can’t help saying something stupid, “winter’s coming, i can feel it!”

the house is equipped with smoke alarms!

for as long as i have been living here, i’ve always thought the circular plastic thingy attached to the ceiling of the stairways was a burglar alarm or something. the house is fitted with a security system, or so the sticker labels on all windows and doors claim.

just five minutes ago, i heard the housemate’s mum running down the stairs. banging in the kitchen. then the shrilling alarm. i was wondering what weird electrical appliance was making the din, microwave alerts don’t make such noises, right?

the burning smell and smoke in the kitchen gave me my answer.

we had no idea how to stop the damn alarm from deafening us, until the clueless culprit began pressing on the switches randomly.

ahhh, so the innocent switch with a piece of paper covering it to prevent me from switching it off accidentally, which the landlady told me was the switch to the lights outside the house (she bluffed!), was the magic button.

now, why is the smoke alarm fitted in the stairways and not in the kitchen?!

it rained after midnight yesterday. the sound of the rain hitting the ground and the smell of moisture after a period of dryness was so familiar. rainy days are hard to come by over here.

it made me unusually happy.

i set my alarm at 4am, hoping to wake up and complete some work. and wake up i did.

there was someone knocking firmly and incessantly on the main entrance of my room and flashing lights outside. hoping that it was the housemate (and her twin sister who’s here to stay for a week) doing something weird outside or the owners who wanted to do-dunno-what, i stayed in bed thinking they might go away if they think i’m dead to the world. i don’t like facing people when i’m fresh out of bed.

fat hope. knock, knock, knock.

so i got up to open the bloody door and presto! three policemen (okay, one policewoman) at the doorstep!

and they took a looong time to tell inform me someone asked to speak to them. by the time the guy said “i’m sorry to inform you” i was already wondering if they were trying to inform me about an attempted break-in or something. so i asked them if they had any idea who called them, since there was the landlady and family, the housemate and i. kind of obvious it wouldn’t be me wanting to chat with them at 4am in the morning.

they tortured my poor sleepy brain a little more, going round in circles till they told me it was a pair of sisters. wah lau, say earlier lah.

so they trooped through my room in their shoes. and after about twenty minutes, they came back down without the housemate leading them out of the other exit. so they trooped through my room in their shoes again. and asked me if the housemate was usually coherent or was aware of her surroundings, etc. all along i thought i was the only one who thinks she’s weird and that it was my poor mandarin (compared to hers) that render me bewildered and confused after our conversations.

i have a strange feeling i may not have a housemate much longer.

update:

it’s pretty much confirmed, the housemate’s going home. permanently, i think.

the landlady has asked me to keep my doors locked as much as possible and ignore her knockings on my door if possible. and no, she doesn’t mean to frighten me. damn, how am i supposed to be unworried in a case like that?

she’s got weirder overnight, seriously. it wasn’t so bad yesterday.

she keeps going up and down the stairs, walking to and fro in her room. she’s supposed to be looking for her passport to return home and so i can understand her walking to and fro in the room. but going up and down the stairs continuously? i’m quite sure her passport wouldn’t be in the fridge or outside the house.

twice she knocked on my door and borrowed my keys to go out. the first time she came back i asked her if i should lock the doors. she stared at me blankly, looked away, fumbled with the waste bin and finally asked me to please lock the doors. the second time i just passed her my bunch of keys (together with my thumbdrive!) and she left the house with it. i sat there worrying for more than ten minutes, wondering if she’ll come back safely with my keys. ok, ok i know i should be worrying about her, not the keys. but i was worried about them both, i have important stuff in the thumbdrive! so when she came back i told her to keep the doors unlocked.

there should be an international law banning helicopter activities after 9pm.

i can’t hear myself think.

i thought the sunny island was the only crazy place that had noisy helicopters disrupting the 10pm peace, but i’m wrong.

there’s stupid helicopters flying round and round and round at 11.40pm over here.

siao one.

if nothing goes wrong, my last paper is on the 14th june, which means i have an entire month of holidays.

this is where the problem begins. while i am dying to explore melbourne or some other place in australia alone, i am utterly broke this semester (thanks to the pair of new glasses). the other option is to head back to singapore and gorge myself silly on food that i’ve been missing.

let’s look at the pros and cons of packing my luggage and going back to the sunny island:

advantage #1: lower expenses for the entire month.

advantage #2: meeting up with all the people i’ve been missing!

advantage #3: having things to do for the whole month (there’s only so much travelling i can do with an extremely limited budget if i stay here)

advantage #4: being able to read real newspapers every morning (or afternoon, by the time i wake up). i have been totally living in a world of my own since i detest reading news online.

advantage #5: i can escape winter! i don’t think i’ll like winter very much, it’s too bloody cold!

advantage #6: food! glorious food!

disadvantage #1: i really, really want to go travel a little all by myself. and this is a damn good chance to do so. and i only have a year more to go over here!

disadvantage #2: i hate packing luggages.

disadvantage #3: high entertainment expenses when i return to singapore.

disadvantage #4: winter might be fun IF it snows this year.

disadvantage #5: i haven’t had my fill of spending lots of time alone.

disadvantage #6: might be fun spending the birthday alone for the first time?

see? such a hard decision to make. i don’t think it’s helpful asking people like the seah-yiyi or the msian for opinions, they’ll cast biased votes.

i hate making difficult decisions!

stupid collage of darling harbour from yesterday still can’t work properly. i miss photoshop. i miss proper internet connection back in sg.

am bushed from walking and walking and walking. too lazy to do more collages.

will be back.

i’m forcing myself to drink a half-jug of honey lemon water to ease the damn sore throat i’m having.i must be getting old - couldn’t stand the strong weather in the morning and with the attempt to finish the tutorial last night, i fell sick.

but the kiasu singaporean took all the necessary pills and hopped into bed bundled up by a warm sweater, a thick throw rug and the blanket.

now i’m fine again.

look what i killed last night!

a foreign bug! it looks gross and dangerous, doesn’t it?

i still get the creeps looking at the picture.

it’s confirmed.the main reason for my depression over the past few days was due to the cramped, smelly and dark motel room with a serious lack of fresh air.

before i moved in yesterday, i threw up whatever i ate for breakfast again. despite the anti-nausea pills i took.

once i moved in, i was perfectly fine and happy again. and i got hungry. but me the kiasu singaporean decided to play safe and get another round of those anti-nausea pills just in case my theory was wrong.

so i went to the chemist and asked for those pills. apparently i needed a doctor’s prescription. so i got him to recommend substitutes. and he asked, “is this for motion sickness, or food poisoning?”

*embarrassed look: “uh…for….erm homesickness?”

he laughed at me.

but damn, this is one quick recovery without the help of drugs! now i’m happy again, i think. i am just waaaaaaiting for the ex-occupant to call up the internet company and ask for the lost password. waaaaaiting. i have this feeling she won’t get back to me cos she either forgot about this or lost my number.

she invited me upstairs for a while and i saw my housemate’s room. it was a terrible mess!! things and papers were just strewn around in the wardrobes and drawers. the way they rummaged through the mess to find the password was as if they were going through the garbage bin. i’m scared, i can be quite a clean freak, remember?

the housemate’s room has a huge built-in wardrobe all to herself. i have a sorry excuse of a wardrobe, which is actually just space under the staircase. with bare brick walls, the water heater in it, an unused clothes dryer and some other random rubbish.

the housemate’s room is carpeted. mine used to be, but they took out the carpets. now it’s tiled. and shesh, it gets REALLY cold at night (less than 20 degrees celcius on summer nights). so cold that i have to wear my adidas sweater to sleep and in the mornings. but i don’t mind, i like my adidas sweater and i miss wearing it. i’m gonna get myself a pair of bedroom slippers so that i don’t have to tap dance across the room at night.

the housemate’s room has a study nook, which is cosy and comes with more storage space. i have, like one-eighth of her storage space altogether?

the best thing is, she pays the same rent as me.

but i still quite like my room, cos i don’t have to walk one big around when i enter. and i have my own fridge and microwave and stuff in my room, so i can be really lazy and not leave my room at all, even when i’m hungry. and i don’t have to climb the stairs ten million times a day, except to use the bathroom. ha, minimized exercise and easy access to food. no prize for guessing what’s gonna happen to me when i return to singapore. (by the way, i’m back to considering if i should return in june)

pictures of my room:

the whole interior of the house is in pink. pink walls, pink bathroom, pink windowsills, pink kitchen, even the main house where the owner lives in is entirely pink. sheesh. i sure miss my blue bathroom and cream coloured house.

while going through the welcome pack the school gave out at the airport (yes, the school provides this very thoughtful service whereby they pick up new students at the airport and drop us off wherever we’re going), i came across this nice, colourful postcard.

my ally must feel so welcomed.

then i read the smaller words.

dang.

gotta run out to the mall (again, ack!) to get cooking condiments. the genius in me remembered to get meat, fish, veggies (not bad for a carnivore, eh?), fruits, bread, eggs, sauces, even kitchen towels.

but i happily forgot about salt, sugar, pepper, etc. etc.

sigh, too lazy to get to the mall. it’s such a long way off. maybe i’ll try walking there today. hahaha i almost did yesterday and gave up only because i couldn’t really figure out the directions. should have no problems today.

i had another mega breakdown yesterday and got my brother to call me. think he was a little spooked out to hear me crying over the phone. but i reached the limit and couldn’t not tell anyone in the family. i contemplated telling my dad i really, really want to go home. but i know i don’t want to take that option until i’m on the verge of total breakdown.

i cried for almost half of yesterday and made myself pretty sick. there’s just a lot of invisible stress and homesickness involved. i seriously hope i can use the internet by tomorrow or monday. but i now know what’s my limit for being alone. i used to think i have a really flexible ability to be alone for long periods of time, but this has proven that i can last like two or three days being all myself and that’s all.

according to the msian who had been through this before, i’m supposed to remind myself why i am here. i guess a main reason is i’ve always wanted to do a course overseas, just that i didn’t plan to do one alone. and that a year and a half away from my family will really allow me to rethink things, breathe and maybe appreciate them better. because i really like marketing. because i prefer studying to working and not everyone has an opportunity like this.

i’m giving myself a chance to start school before i even decide whether i can take it or not. assuming there are people i will get to know and like in school. maybe if i really, really don’t like it here, i’ll go home for the term break in june. that wouldn’t be so bad then, it’ll only be about 4 months from now. so those whom i’ve invited to visit me in Sydney, hold on to your passports and don’t make your flight bookings yet, if visiting me is the top priority in your trip.

it’s only 11.36am over here and i’ve already spent an hour just sitting on the bed doing absolutely nothing. because there’s nothing to do. nothing to watch on tv, i’ve finished watching the vcds i brought, the dvds i brought are incompatible with ally, and i’ve also finished the book i brought along.

i can’t fall asleep just yet, or i’ll stay awake in the night, which is worse than staying awake in the day. i can’t get out of here cos there’s no bus service in the weekends.

hopefully these two days in the motel room is the worst part of this trip and things get better after these two days. it’s a hell of a character building experience, if you ask me. trying to stay sane despite the crying, trying not to think about home despite the homesickness and having too much time to spare. if i were damn freaking loaded, i’ll be calling and smsing my friends now so i’m not so lonely.

but am i damn freaking loaded?

no, i am not.

i broke down yesterday and bawled big time over the phone. i just had to hear familiar voices over the phone. i was so desperate i began crying when i heard the dial tone. it felt good hearing voices i know well, but not so good when i had to hang up cos i didn’t want to bust the credit on my prepaid card.

two more days to spend in this depressing room before i move in on sunday. i swear i must be crazy to think that i can handle this all alone. actually it’s not so much of homesickness, it’s more of missing my friends. even though we met only once in a while back in singapore, at least i had the internet to communicate. at least there was always something to do, somewhere to go.

it’s so depressing i haven’t been able to eat much too. i really tried, but i threw up dinner the night before and since then, i haven’t eaten a lot of things.

ten more months to home. yeah i know it doesn’t help to countdown this way. perhaps in a few more weeks i’ll forget about this counting down. i’m keeping my fingers crossed.

hopefully by the time term starts, i’ll be happier and making new friends. and connected to the internet.

i’m in canberra already. the place i’m staying at is small and smells musty, but it’s clean. and there’s air conditioning, so what else can i complain about.

gonna got out and settle banking issues, a map of the place, etc. sheesh, they’re charging me $2 for 20 mins use of internet.

forgive me if you don’t see me around in the next week or so, but that’s highly improbable.

will blog more later.

i thank all who’s involved in approving my visa and all who prayed that it would get here soon.

it’s here.

haven’t felt this relieved for ages. funny thing is, this morning i dreamt that the department emailed me to inform me of the application being approved.

do i have sixth sense or something? that’s the third time i sensed something before it happened within a month.

in case i do not graduate with the master’s degree (TOUCH WOOD), i think i’ll do quite well as a fortune teller or something.

must go hone my prediction skills.

someone just kill me now and save me from all the trouble of:

a) deciding which laptop to buy

too many options! i think i know why i’m dying to buy a macbook. it’s cos there’s only three options for macbooks, and it’s freaking easy to make a decision.

b) looking for accommodation

gotta find one within budget and hopefully, near the school. and i am already settling for non-private bathrooms! arghhhh. think i’m gonna come back a totally crazed psychopath after 10 months of sharing a bathroom with a stranger.

c) worrying about when the visa stuff will be approved

it’s been 17 days since they received all the stuff and commenced processing of my application. now, i have good reason to believe it should be approved anytime soon, right?

d) random thinking tasks

where to eat multiple dinners, etc. etc.

e) packing the damn luggage

i haven’t started yet. i’m putting it off cos well, i’m still in denial mode. ten months’ worth of luggage, how to pack?! things i want to bring along, i can’t. things which i want to leave behind will follow me no matter where i go. yes, i’m talking about non-tangible items as well.

no wonder my parents are so damn worried about me flying there alone.all right, back to solving the above problems.

that’s what i’m gonna be very soon, i believe.

i haven’t found accomodation in australia. cos i’m pretty stubborn about having my own bathroom. i have this thing about have my own bathroom, which started even before i moved in to this house where i have my own attached bathroom. i”ve hated sharing bathrooms all my life.

combed through campus and off-campus accomodation and god, there’s a serious shortage of rooms with attached bathrooms.

was actually looking for a studio, but at this stage, i guess i have to accept the fact that i’m damn bloody late in looking for accomodation.

have already alerted my aussie bro, who’s gonna contact his canberra friend for help. sheesh, i feel so useless have to trouble others over my accomodation. wonder how the heck i’m gonna survive all by myself over there.