i think i might turn into a completely insane person by the time i get back to singapore.

the housemate is walking like an elephant upstairs in her room. she goes BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! to and fro, up and down. under normal circumstances i would have cursed and sworn but i can’t this time. it’s not right to do that when she’s got a fracture. she’s gotta be on crutches for six weeks, save our lives.

apparently she fell down at the garden steps on friday night. it’s pitch black out there at night. i was chatting to the president on msn and i heard a loud thump. i continued to laze around on my bed because i heard the housemate’s footsteps a few seconds later. that probably meant that she was still alive and well so i thought nothing about it. yes, i’m a cold-blooded animal, if you haven’t noticed by now.

well, she went to the hospital yesterday and now she’s limping around on two crutches. it’s a little tricky going up and down the stairs on two crutches so i think she threw one of them down the stairs this morning when she was going out. that explains why i was up by 8.30am despite having turned in at 3am this morning.

i wish i can switch rooms with her or something so she can skip the painful trouble of going up and down the stairs, but i guess it’s not a good solution cos we’d have to move all the stuff we need for six weeks. that’s as good as moving the entire room for me since i’ll be leaving in three weeks’ time (damn it). besides, the bathroom is on the second floor so it doesn’t really make a difference.

while i sympathize with her and i’m glad to offer her help in whatever way i can, there’s always this dark cloud forming over my head whenever she goes BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! while i’m trying to work on my readings. this clash of sympathy and resentment is gonna drive me crazy any moment.

i was conversing with the saviour of my statistics project and it went something like that..

saviour: “iron is actually very nice. blah blah blah blah“

me, thinking: “iron is very nice? has he gone mad?!”

saviour: “he just gave us the answers to the statistics project during class!”

OH.

he meant my lecturer, ian.

what’s up with people who pepper their sentences with bombastic words and yet fail to be grammatically correct? bombastic words, poor sentence structure, grammar mistakes. it’s a pain to read their writings.

doesn’t anyone believe in writing simply anymore? what about writing to cater to the audience?

does it boost their ego when they toss big words around carelessly? does it serve any purpose or prove a point at all?

it’s killing me, it really is.

freaking pissed with the house owner’s daughter. her parents are away for two weeks and each time they’re away, she brings some friends home. it’s all right if they hang out and make some noise, but the last time she brought them back, they were blasting music late in the night.

now, they’re screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming.

seriously, it pisses me off big time.

last week this time i was hanging out with the msian and wenwen. somehow we always do unhealthy things when we hang out together. thus the yakun full meal appetizer before the kfc meal. laughing at how the msian looked in her ah lian clothes and every small little thing.

after which i met up at frolick in holland v, for a frozen yoghurt treat. and to just sit in coffee bean, drinking nothing but plain water, talking away for hours. till coffee bean had to close for the day at 1am. another “new” friend, i think. i was amazingly comfortable with everything despite the “new” person i’ve never hung out with.

last thurs i was still frantically packing the luggage, worrying about not having time to meet up with others if i couldn’t finish packing.

last wednesday i was out with weiwei and visited her in sengkang. finally, after three months of being in singapore. did nothing except playing with wii with her and her sister.

last tuesday i was hanging out at seahyiyi’s place because of the suddenly-on-suddenly-off decision to bai nian to mama-seah. tried to undo the negative impressions mama-seah had of me but i couldn’t help talking or laughing loudly anyway.

over the three months i also:

1) worked at a redemption counter, something i would never do, if not for seahyiyi’s persuasion. so seahyiyi’s friend became my friend too and in these three months i watched more movies with them than i usually do in half a year. i sang and drank, in a karoke. i stayed out till late at night. i spent christmas eve and new year’s eve with these same people, doing the same things.

2) the brother’s wedding and boy, i am still flabbergasted at how i managed to buy two cheap dresses and heels four days before the wedding day. desperation always drives out the efficient shopper in me.

3) spent a lot of time loitering around, doing the data entry for the fast food chain which sells deep-fried chicken parts.

4) did invigilation, raking in good money.

5) turned up for the last time at The Office where i’ve always worked as a temp admin. thoroughly enjoyed working with the neighbour-in-black and the admin head. even though there were things which saddened me and pissed me off big time over there.

6) went through the same chinese new year rush of apparel shopping and then, doing crazy dashes across the island.

during the last week i somehow kept passing by some places which hold a lot of memories. memories accumulated over these three months. i wouldn’t say they were depressing, but they just reminded me of what is beyond me.

i’m dreading weekends over here. i’ll be all alone with few people logged on to msn cos everyone’s out during their precious weekends.

excuse me while i retreat to the solo crunchyroll summer camp.

i’m physically exhausted from all the running around but the promise of good times lure me away from home. my schedule always gets increasingly packed as flight dates near but damn it, i love running here and there meeting everyone and doing the last minute purchases. it just gives me a sense of purpose. darn, if i have to rely on this to feel the sense of purpose, there is no hope left for my life.

but anyway, i’ll probably be in canberra or one of the airports the next time i blog.

i’m seriously gonna miss everyone (i’m already missing everyone) who means something to me. if i haven’t been talking as much as i did before, it’s because i’ve just gotten used to being quiet. the silences are pretty comfortable for me, even if it freaked some of you out. but it’s still the same loud, screeching laughter you hear, isn’t it?

right, i’m trying to convince myself i’ve packed every single thing i need into the damn luggage. i hate packing, it’s such a pain in the ass. i hope i’ve remembered every damned thing.  i’m sure the return flight will still somehow screw up, cos i always screw up at some point in time.

i’m keeping my fingers crossed the journey back will be safe lah.

it was my last day was as a temp staff for this summer vacation and probably, for the rest of my life. having worked as a temp staff at the same company over five years, it’s weird how i was so familiar with everyone and everything and yet, chose to mostly isolate myself cos of the changes that have taken place.

the sales engineer who used to be my favourite (references: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6) is no longer the favourite cos his values have changed. i once respected him for being true to himself. gone is his sense of right and wrong. he finds it “stupid” to resist or air our honest opinions against unreasonable demands of the management.  that employees should, for their own sake, comply to expectations of the management, regardless of how they exploit the employees. so in his usual uncle-gives-advice manner, he told me that’s how the corporate world is and that probably will be the life i will live when i graduate. he went silent when i asked him if such people were really happy in their jobs, if they really lived a worthy life. maybe he thinks i’m naive to have such values. after all, i haven’t really entered the big, bad working world, have i? yet, i think i can be quite dogged about such things, about being happy,

oh well, i guess i’ll still miss the good times i had there and the fact that i’ve made friends there.

i don’t like it when people keep things from me. not their own secrets or personal affairs, not everyone might feel comfortable sharing some details about themselves. what i mean are things that involve me and thus, i have the right to know.

i seriously hate it.

if nothing goes wrong with the office-tussle over there, i’ll be working with the neighbour-in-black and admin head again. for the fourth time, in the same office. wow.

i’m trying to work out how i’m gonna cope with a regular routine again. it’s been a year since i lived that kind of life - waking up at 6.30am, having lunch at 12.30pm, going home at 6pm. doing the same old things every single day, five days a week.

woah.

but for the money, i’d put up with anything.

the ktv-drinking session which has been planned for a long time almost went down the drain. simply because it could be risky, with my dad spending slightly more time at home lately.

but christmas eve is christmas eve, the last day of work is the last day of work, a need to destress is a need to destress and an alcohol craving is an alcohol craving.

i sang, people. i sang, in front of others. tis a milestone in my life. ktv-drinking sessions are pretty effective in relieving stress.

so yeah, i drank more beer than usual and didn’t get high at all, damn. my goal for tonight was to at least get high but i got a little dizzy halfway towards the end of the last glass so the rational me stopped drinking. it’s one thing to stay out late but a totally different thing to end up drunk.

fortunately the boss sprayed some fragrance on me before sending us home. with some luck my clothes wouldn’t smell like alcohol.

right, i’m glad everything’s under control for now. except for the digestive system. though it’s a lot better than the other times i drank, i’m releasing a lot of gas. not so good.

i need more merry training, haha.