I’ve been trying to log in to school network to check The Results which will determine if I will fly over this Friday but alas, for the past two hours I’ve been caught in the bottleneck. Guess there are thousands of students like me clogging up the system. This is strange, because the results had been out for a couple of hours by the time I woke up.

The suspense is killing me.

*I’ve passed! Without glowing grades but considering the crap I had to face this semester, it’s acceptable lah.

And so I completed the final paper. This deserves some serious celebrations as it might be the last round of academic examinations in my life. I can start shredding lecture notes and burning textbooks. It’s also time to start surfing the net for jobs and hanging on to the classifieds for my dear old life.

With the end of the examinations, I have two days to pack up or dispose of every single item I have here and leave for Singapore. I am wondering how everything’s gonna fit in the luggage. I don’t have a staggering pile of belongings I need to cart back but after one and a half years here, there is bound to be some accumulation of stuff.

I hate last minute packing because I am paranoid of forgetting things. Not that I ever finish packing early, I am one of the greatest procrastinators in life. Right, I’m hoping everything goes smoothly in my last few days. It’ll be yet another miracle if I can get back to Singapore without any hiccups.

at the time i was reading this, the alarms went off in my head. it’s yet another sign i’m heading towards senile dementia, dang. i know we learnt this sometime ago in primary or secondary school but now i have no idea what entrepot means. i’m sure no one else remembers this right?

i had to google “singapore entrepot economy” to find out. google is my saviour, i tell you. i relied (almost) solely on google to complete my statistics assignment. that’s what happens when the textbook doesn’t tell us how to decipher SPSS output and the lectures parrot the textbook contents.

doesn’t matter if you’ve learnt and forgotten. there’s always google to save your ass. quick, go find something to google now.

that’s right, i was going through an inner turmoil over….*drumroll…..a….calculator.

it went something like this:

examiner: for students taking the course BLAH1234, ensure that your calculator blah blah blah.

me: oh shit. i left the calculator in the bag.

angel in me: maybe i should move my butt out of the exam hall and fetch the calculator.

devil in me: aiyah, maybe i wouldn’t need the calculator at all lah, hor? i always bring my calculator along for such exams also never use mah.

angel in me: just go out and get it will die ah?! you’re disgustingly lazy!

devil in me: yah will die, then the whole world will know i’m an idiot. stats exam where got people forget to bring in calculator one?

angel in me: yah, STATS EXAM. STATS. NUMBERS.

and i realised there were a lot of other idiots who did the same thing as me.

six days to the first paper, thirteen days to the last paper, sixteen days to home on the sunny island.

from now till the exams, i shall have to spend the bulk of my time mugging. serious mugging, not the usual kind i’ve relied on to get past previous semesters. some of the grades i’ve got for assignments this semester are not exactly pretty. i haven’t flunked anything yet, thanks to the grace and compassion of the stats lecturer. still, there are a couple of grades below my expectations.

gotta make sure i pass this final semester, eh?

here goes, the serious mugger resurfaces!

just one more deadline to go and i’ll be done for the last semester in my life. not that it’s the end of the semester, there’s still the exams. my biggest nightmare, statistics, has an exam weighting of 70% i think and i didn’t do so well for the two statistics assignments. damn it, i am so screwed. once again, i’m keeping ALL my fingers and toes crossed. i HAVE to pass the stats exam cos this is my last paper! i have to!

right, one more deadline. pass stats exam. one more deadine. i can do it. pass stats exam. one more deadline. i am invincible. pass stats exam. yes there’s only one more deadline. yes i can pass my stats exam. i am a genius.

this is the first time i’m considering giving up on my assignment. i just can’t handle so many things at this time, i can’t. i thought nothing will ever bring me down cos i’m supposed to be tough and rational and all that crap, but i’m not so sure now.

i’m tired from trying, tired from juggling so many things, tired from thinking, tired from being me.

it’s been a long time since i was genuinely happy without major worries and troubles.

5 days of non-productivity because:

1) i was in sydney from friday to monday, during which i spent most of the time around the city with the parents and the brother. i only realised how much australia is gonna tug at my heart strings when i return to the sunny island. i totally loved visiting those familiar places in sydney. revisiting those landmarks was like seeing old friends again. i wonder how i’m gonna cope not being in australia.

i was in a little argument with my dad over the issue of my convocation. he REALLY wants to attend it and i am trying all ways and means to wriggle out of it. i can’t think of any reason why i would go through so much trouble just to don the graduation gown. but because my dad wants to attend my convocation so badly, i’m reconsidering my decision.

2) played tour guide for two days when my parents visited canberra. i sucked at the task cos i got lost most of the time (thank god for the GPS device we rented) and i couldn’t even recommend decent food. oh well, i’ve been a geeky student for the past year.

but it was definitely fun and uber cool driving around in the rented car. i’m still trying to get used to only having to move the right foot when controlling the brake and accelerator. there were many occasions i caught myself having a foot on each pedal. i also forgot there’s such a thing called a handbrake and i actually drove from the city to the airport without releasing the handbrake. the route from the city to the airport took about 15 minutes but there were a hell lot of roundabouts and i nearly got into an accident at one. it has been a long time since i entered a roundabout and i forgot i was supposed to stop for vehicles coming from my right. such a terrible driver i was yesterday morning, thank goodness for the amazingly friendly and forgiving drivers in canberra)

right, i now have a 20 page essay to submit in 16 hours’ time and i only started on it 3 hours ago. i can’t even concentrate on the damn essay because there are ten million things going through my mind.

i’m trying, i really am.

i was conversing with the saviour of my statistics project and it went something like that..

saviour: “iron is actually very nice. blah blah blah blah“

me, thinking: “iron is very nice? has he gone mad?!”

saviour: “he just gave us the answers to the statistics project during class!”

OH.

he meant my lecturer, ian.

i’ve just completed my statistics assignment.

i seldom feel so strongly upon the completion of a deadline, because most of the time, i don’t put in my 100%. i don’t believe in killing myself over school. i wouldn’t say i’ve put in 100% effort this time, but it’s been some time since i’ve invested so many brain cells on a deadline.

this deadline was completed with some divine intervention, i believe. i met the right people at the right time twice this week and i almost lost my thumbdrive with the only copy of the assignment in it.

my solutions may be far from the perfect one. in fact, i’m not sure whether i used the correct analytical models in the first place. oh well, i’ve tried.

there’s still another statistics assignment to go (lecturer’s gonna spring a last minute assignment release on us again) but hey man, i’m done with this!

i can do anything!